We Gotta Feel, Fam.

Therapy thoughts: Most of the time what we are TERRIFIED of feeling, is an emotion we ALREADY FEEL.

This thought comes from 10 years being a therapist and seeing this common pattern: we say, “I don’t want to feel_____” but the reality is we actually already feel the things we want to avoid.

Here’s what it sounds like in a hypothetical session (let me be clear I’m with you in not wanting to feel stuff too, I’m also a client, not just a therapist - just using the client/therapist dialogue for clarity to teach this principle):

Client- I don’t want to set a boundary with my families diet talk.

Me- what would it be like if you did.

Client- They might be mad or defensive.

Me- what would that be like.

Client- Uncomfortable and scary.

Me- what would that be like.

Client- Hard

Me- yes. And isn’t it interesting how it is currently uncomfortable, scary, and hard without setting that boundary: so setting it will be facing the same feelings you currently have.

Does that make sense? This is pretty much therapy in a nutshell for a lot of my clients. Feeling dealing healing. Realizing we can feel emotions and can face the things we catastrophize. That we’re strong and capable of FEELING. And when we can’t and it’s too much, we cope and distract and get help and supports.

Therapy and tacos for all,

T.Roe