3 Steps to Deal with Grief

Grief is on my mind. I’m feeling and dealing. Grief is nothing that anyone looks forward to. Grief is painful. Grief is stress and it is both physical and psychological and its intense.

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I want to give you some permissions around grief and honoring grief. Mourning is another word that is important to understand. It’s how we express our thoughts and feelings in response to the bereavement. How you mourn, how I mourn is going to be based on culture and beliefs - it’s a way that we experience our grief.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

1. It’s normal to avoid. Avoidance is an appropriate response. If you are feeling numb or empty or no emotional reaction - it is a normal and appropriate response to grief. Like an emotional anesthesia. Grief is messy. It comes and goes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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2. We then go through a confrontation process. We go through anger and fear and the ‘live in the moment’ carpe diem, the bucket list - all the things that we can do. We confront grief how we need to confront grief. You have permission to do what you need to do. There is no right way. As we confront grief it creates a hole in our soul. The grief is evidence of love - it is the response of lost love. There’s a hole in our make up, our DNA, our mind. We’ve lost an attachment figure, or relationship, and that changes someone.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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3. Remove judgment. Observe whatever is happening. Acknowledge that it exists - “This is how I’m feeling and it’s okay to feel this”. Doesn’t mean you like it, but it’s how you can observe the waves of pain. It’s energy moving through your body. Experience it like a wave, just like the waves of the ocean, the waves come and go.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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There’s no wrong or right way to take grief on. You have permission to confront your grief. It will pop up if we try to shut it down, like any emotion. Grief is a response to love.

Therapy and tacos for all,

T.Roe