You are Not Responsible for Others' Feelings

WOW social media is a baptism by fire sometimes y’all. One post can prompt reactions from others ranging from sending hate DMS and unfollowing to sending praise and love. (Neither is actually about us).

How is it possible that in communication, one instance can trigger such vast responses (reactions) in people? Because we each have a unique lens that creates our world. We are not responsible for other people’s feelings. Nor can we control them.

The next step is understanding it’s not personal, because others reactions are about them. Others beliefs, perceptions, egos, temperament, defense mechanisms, thought patterns, stories, emotional regulation all play together to form their view. None of that is personal.

This fact doesn’t rob each of us of personal responsibility for our actions and how we treat others. It does release the delusion that we can control others behaviors or perceptions. If you set a boundary with 20 people, how they respond isn’t personal. It’s about them. You are responsible for setting the boundary. You aren’t responsible for the 20 reactions.

What’s the hardest part of this for you? I know for me, letting go of the need for others approval and being misunderstood are very uncomfortable (although, being a social media presence has given me TONS of practice). Practicing seeing other folks stories and projections as their own conditioning and journey helps distance from personalization.
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T.Roe

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