Therapy Thoughts: Relationships are Hard Work!

Happy 11th wedding anniversary to @heymrroe ! Let me share some therapy thoughts around relationships and some recommendations.

1) Couples therapy

We do it. Because therapy is cool. And it’s hard. And it’s great to keep partners attuned to each other and the natural evolution of a relationship. Don’t wait to be on the brink of breakup for therapy. Therapy is a great part of any partnership and it’s healthy.

2) Do daily check ins.

Mr Roe recently asked me to ask more about HIS job and not only talk about my job. I felt embarrassed that I’ve become so self absorbed and was grateful for his request. Being in a relationship means caring about the other persons needs and working with it. It means being willing to grow and adapt and do better. Ask everyday for a check-in: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.

3) From @heymrroe “You gotta find moments to laugh together.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the drama and heavy news, it’s important to still find moments to laugh & share laughter together and why you’re friends and like each other’s company.”

4) Optimistic bias.

Y’all know this is my soapbox. Advocate for your partners characteristics. See them with favor and look for the reasons their traits work with yours instead of hating everything that’s different or even challenging. I couldn’t live with someone who is my clone, we wouldn’t be compatible. I need @heymrroe yin to my yang ☯️.

5) Don’t let comfort of time dilute respect.

Respect your partner. It’s natural for long-term relationships to lose mystery, thats a consequence of security. But watch out for security leading to taking the other person for granted. Respect their individual journey and evolution. Be cool to them. Don’t be a butthole with tone (looking at myself here 100%). Practice the art of acknowledging when you cross that line and verbalizing impact on your partner. That’s the dance of being woke with them - seeing impact and communicating in your dance together.

Relationships are work. They show us our inner wounds and where we need to grow. I’m lucky to be with @heymrroe in an ongoing friendship and commitment that is a treasure. ‍️‍

Looking to work on your communication/boundary skills within your own relationship? Snag my Communication Course HERE!