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What To Say:

  • It’s good to see you.

  • How’s life?

  • I Love You.

  • I Miss You.

  • Catch Me Up On Everything Cool.

What Not to Say: Comment on a Person’s Body Size

Here’s why:

Y’all it’s so anxiety provoking to walk into diet and weight centric gatherings. Like really, who does it benefit? Complimenting weight loss reinforces weight stigma, it’s fat-phobic, and it insinuates that weight loss is always a good thing. Commenting on weight gain does the same thing. Focusing on weight is objectifying. It impacts us on so many levels. Diet culture elevates some bodies and stigmatizes and oppresses others. Even those who are praised are hurt... because they stay stuck in diet cultures obsessive cycle. If you think weight-centric comments are no big deal, consider:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

  1. What if they’re sick?

  2. What if they’re depressed?

  3. What if they have an eating disorder? (Body size doesn’t determine this btw, any sized body can have an eating disorder)

  4. What if they have disordered eating?

  5. What if no one comments on their body when it’s bigger and the message of “shrink yourself” is sending the “your body is your worth” message?

  6. What if they are on meds that affect weight?

  7. What if they have food insecurity?

  8. What if this is the diet that kicks in an eating disorder?

  9. What if a young child or teen hears you and internalized the message that weight loss is praised, good, healthy (read above if you still believe weight loss is always healthy), or something they should pursue?

  10. What if they have survived trauma?

  11. What if you usually praise their weight loss and now they’ve gained weight and you don’t compliment them?

  12. What if they are hanging by a thread?

  13. What if it makes them super uncomfortable?

  14. What if they are grieving?

  15. AND it’s no ones business. People’s bodies change. Weight fluctuates.

  16. AND what about you! Maybe you don’t really want to focus on other folks bodies anyway!

Let’s practice stopping this cultural norm

Therapy and tacos for all,