Perfectionism Feels Like Safety, But It's Not.
Therapy thoughts: Perfectionism feels like safety, but it's not. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We overcompensate where we are most vulnerable. We mask the parts of us that we think are unacceptable. We front and try to look perfect, when really we need authenticity and self-compassion. Getting our own backs with self-compassion, self-validation, and gentle reconnection to self. THAT’S safety. Yes, as children perfectionism was a legitimate attempt to be safe, and many cases it gave us safety in dysfunctional systems. developing safety with perfectionism was smart and survival for so many of us. Now as adults we get to change it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Where’s your shame? What areas feel scary and vulnerable? Do you notice that’s where you wear a mask of perfection? Do you see anxiety and extra effort go where you’re most insecure?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Perhaps see perfectionism as a distraction from dealing with the emotions and beliefs surrounding that area rather than a place that's safe. Allow yourself grace and compassion in this exploration because it’s tender. Don’t make being imperfect another thing to be perfect at, watch that shame monster when it masks itself as self-improvement. Start testing the waters of owning your humanness and being cool with ALL of you. Acceptance is the name of the game here, by acknowledging and allowing for the messiness, you can really access self acceptance.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I promise you’re not alone. We all gotta sift through the layers of self to reach consciousness and mindful living. I actually find it fun and exciting to do the hard work to then come through feeling empowered and enlightened. I suggest marinating on deep stuff like this in meditation🧘♀️. I always have breakthroughs when I allow the feelings to just simmer. Get curious about your inner process without judgment.
Therapy & tacos for all,