Validation is the name of the game! Don’t try to fix it (you can’t). Don’t rob people of their emotional process with platitudes. Each person has their own unique experience. Some may be okay telling you details & being open about their feelings. Others may want to create a boundary and not talk at all.
It’s true none of us can control people’s reactions to our questions & comments, my agenda isn’t to scare people into silence. We all blow it & say the wrong thing sometimes! However, we all need to improve our awareness of depression and validation. We need to take responsibility for changing our invalidating-fix-it toxic-positivity culture. We want to get rid of uncomfortable feelings (in others and ourselves) & it’s stigmatizing. My hope is education can improve our communication skills! Let’s better hold space, listen, validate, and support those going through hard things.
20 Things To Say Someone Dealing with Depression:
You matter
Your feelings matter
Your feelings are valid
I believe you
This is so damn hard
That sounds really scary
I’m here to listen
You can text me in the middle of the night
You matter to me
What’s it feel like in your body?
You can tell me the dark things and I won’t judge you
I Can stay with you
It’s okay to feel what you feel
I’m so sorry
This isn’t fair
I really love you
I want to acknowledge how you’re suffering
I support your boundaries
Are there warning signs and triggers you want to tell me about?
When it gets bad I’d love to be part of your safety plan and support you - open invitation always!
Therapy and tacos for all,
