How Do I Set a Boundary?
A FAQ I often get is “how do I set this boundary?” Usually someone explains a situation to me, how they feel, what they don’t want to happen, what’s up with the situation bothering them; what they want to say... and ask “so how do I do it?”
️ I mostly want to say, “Just like that.” It’s not typically an issue of “how” (being assertive, mode of communication, knowing the boundary)... it’s usually more about “what are my fears around setting this.” And maybe deeper, “How do I deal with the potential reactions to my boundary.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
️A boundary is about keeping you safe, not controlling other people. We have the right to have boundaries. They matter. They explain where we begin and end. They let others know how we operate. They allow people to be informed instead of guessing our unique needs. Everyone has different boundaries so it’s really important we express them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Steps to setting boundaries are absolutely helpful and worth asking about as most of us never learned, so no shame in not feeling sure around the “how.” (I’ve done posts on that and can repost again). Take that education and combine it with mindfulness around hesitancy to set them and fears and you’ll be powerful & assertive!
My Communication course breaks this down even more. Check it out HERE.
We’ve got this fam,